


the things that follows

by maxnotamenace



Category: My Candy Love
Genre: Drabble Collection, Family, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-04-27 20:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxnotamenace/pseuds/maxnotamenace
Summary: if you try to live with yourself, you can see that everything is not only shadow and light, it has its colors too//collection of drabbles, or your daily reminder that i love this family more than i love myself//





	1. of aimless nights

Evan still dreams about his parents sometimes. He still remembers his mother’s blue eyes, and the way his father’s glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. Their bickering he didn’t quite understand from his twelve years old perspective. 

He remember what their voice sounded like the exact night they didn’t come back.

 


	2. there may be a hole in your heart

Deep down, maybe Alexy wanted to know where he came from. Who doesn’t? 

But deep down, he also notice how lost he now feels, like something that was never his was taken from him too soon.


	3. his type

“You have a type” Armin says, one day. He’s been thinking about that.

He does have a type. Messy brown hair, green eyes, freckles, the type to fuck him over with only a few words.

That’s his type. Sometimes, Alexy wonders why he always makes his life more complicated than necessary.


	4. faggot

The first time Alexy hears a slur, it shakes him to his core. In his own school,he remembers hearing it, but never found out by who. 

Yesterday, Alexy heard another slur. It doesn’t make him feel anything anymore.

 


	5. three am

“I’m physically unable to relax” he says, laughing. And it’s funny in a way. 

But Alexy is not laughing when it’s three in the morning and he hears his brother snoring but he can’t sleep, his mind racing of a thousand ideas and what ifs and maybe.

 


	6. pinky promise

At almost eighteen, they still sleep together sometimes. Armin’s bed is big enough for the both of them, and they usually don't sleep much those nights. 

Instead they talk, Alexy talks about his fear of not being wanted, of love and his mind that never stops racing, and Armin lets out his anxiety, that was never really gone, and how he finds it hard to eat without thinking all the time.

Sometimes, Alexy hold out his pinky finger to his brother, like they were six again. “You still want to do that?” Armin laugh, hooking his own pinky with his twin’s.

Deep down, they’re still kids.


	7. three sons

The first time Victoria met Evan, she was surprised that such a big, intimidating guy seemed so small in front of her. She wasn’t surprised by how much he looked like her sons. 

He was surprised when she didn’t only shake his hand, but held him, like he was her son too; he was just coming into their home late.

 


	8. boys cry too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight warning for mention of eating disorder

The first time Armin throws up, he doesn’t know why he does it. He felt sick, not in his body, but with himself, and it felt like the right thing to do.

It’s half the stress, half his own wanting, and he doesn’t know if he should feel sorry for himself.


	9. crashing waves

When Alexy learned his mother was pregnant, the fear he worked so hard to conceal and overcome came back in giant waves, crushing him. He felt dizzy and lost, he felt like he was drowning. He felt her golden hands take his own and he focused on their warmth, her voice getting to him in between the waves. Soon the crashing was a distant sound ringing in his ears.

He wasn’t going to be left out. He was okay.


	10. accidentally

They had probably been arguing about something trivial; Armin didn’t see the other car until the last minute and the force with which he turned the steering wheel sent them in the side of the road, both collapsed in their seat.

It was ironic.

  
  



	11. parents

Alexy had always been closer to his mother, for some reason. Probably because they had the same colored, moving energy.

When Alexy woke up in the hospital, he was glad that the first thing he felt was his father’s grounding arms around him.


	12. rubik's cube

Alexy was playing with a Rubik’s cube, waiting to go see his brother as soon as he would get out of intensive care, when Evan entered his room.

“You’re really patient to try to get this thing done. “

“I’m not patient, I’m ADHD and that’s the thing everyone found to keep me calm when i was young.”

Evan went quiet. Of course. The kid couldn’t stay in place.  

 


	13. dogs and teeths

Their fights happens more often than one would think. And they’re usually not pretty, but it’s all bark and no teeth; even if their parents usually have to break them up before they get to the teeth.

Even family can get to the teeth.

 


	14. eighteen

The night of their eighteenth birthday, Alexy and Armin did not sleep. They stayed up together with their phone turned off and the old Nintendo 64 turned on, playing game after game of Mario Kart. When midnight struck, they each opened a beer, and continued playing through the night.

They had been together on this earth for eighteen years. It was worth celebrating together.

  
  



	15. the tiny question in the back of your mind is not a monster

Armin started questioning his own sexuality shortly after Alexy came out. It came as an innocent question in his mind, asking and asking. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to talk about it, or think about it. 

When Armin came out as bi, two years after his brother, he felt as if a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“So that’s how you felt?”

“Yep. Feels good, right? To finally say it.”

“Yeah.”


	16. everybody talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //warning for ed talk

Armin doesn’t have an healthy relationship with food. He wouldn’t call it an eating disorder per say, it’s just that it’s all or nothing with him. It’s either intense restricting and starving himself, or mindlessly eating everything in sight. 

He doesn’t call it an eating disorder, even if everybody else does.

 


	17. and you come out for the 84th time

Contrary to what you’d think of him, Alexy hates having a crush. It’s useless, it makes him blush and most of the time, it’s only one sided. And his family somehow always knows when he has one. 

But Evan hasn’t been in their family for long, he doesn’t know, so when Armin mentions it, Alexy’s eyes go wide with “Why did you say that?”. Evan turns to him, a cocky smile on his face.

“A crush? That’s cute, who is she?”

Alexy takes his time to answer, from behind his hands.

“It’s a he.”

Evan laugh and say it’s okay. He doesn’t ask for more. Alexy relaxes.

 


	18. parents II

Evan has a picture of their parents. Alexy doesn’t know what to expect.

Evan looks a lot like their mom. Armin says their dad looks like a nerd. He was, Evan says. He really liked Star Trek.

 


	19. it's not a bad day

The days where Alexy forgets his medication are not good days. He can’t focus, is constantly fidgeting and thinking of five things at once. On the worst days, he panics.

It’s one of those days.


	20. blue-green, blue, green, amber

He doesn’t notice Priya and Lysander coming his way, when he’s sitting under a tree, until he feels a small hand on his. He opens his eyes and meets with blue-green. Priya is looking at him, saying something but he can’t hear her. She motions to her left and Lysander comes in view, he can’t hear him either. Alexy closes his eyes again. 

He feels two hands on his temples, softer than what he expected. He opens his eyes again, Lysander is smiling. Slowly, sounds come back in his ears, and his body feels limp.

Lysander retrieves his hand and place them in his lap. He’s sitting in front of him, and Priya is still at his right side.

“My brother used to calm me like that when I was young.”

Blue eyes look into green and amber. Lysander is very pretty, Alexy notices.

  
  



End file.
